Welcome to my brain, do come in but close the door behind you or you'll leave a draft in!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Crime for Dummies
In Colombia, a would be robber was hospitalized after he attempted to burgle a karate school. He entered the academy with a gun, but wasn’t able to intimidate the students who, in return opened a giant can of whoop ass on him. When police arrived, they had to take his severely concussed body to the hospital for treatment.In all fairness, what the fuck was he thinking trying to rob a karate school? Was that his idea of a nice easy job? What ever happened to a nice easy mugging of an elderly person?
Now I’m not condoning these activities, I believe in doing an honest day's work for my money, but I also believe in doing things properly. So if your going to rob someone, don’t make an ass of yourself and do it fuckin right.
I really can’t fathom how so many of these criminals are so fucking stupid, like the fuckin numpty over in the states who robbed a convenience store with a clear plastic bag over his head as a disguise. I suppose that guy must be given some credit, he manage to rob the place, he was only arrested after being easily recognized on CCTV!
This made me think, would someone not make a ‘crime for dummies’ book for these thick cunts, with plenty pictures for the really thick illiterate ones. Here is what I imagine it may look like!
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Dying to do that thing you love.
I have never understood it when people say “at least he died doing what he loved”……….What?........I would think, if you were doing the thing you love, dying would be the very last fuckin thing you would want to do! I can see the setting now, you live for rock climbing, you have just climbed a huge cliff in the most picturesque of places, you are bathing in your accomplishment whilst being overwhelmed by your surroundings, and you think to yourself, only death could complete this experience now!
If you were able to choose what you were doing when you die, surely you would want to die doing something you fucking hate, who hasn’t wished for death at some time or another, be it being stuck in traffic or being severely hung over.
I hope that when I die, people will say “at least he died doing something he fucking hate”
I don’t want my last words to be “Isn’t this great, I wish I could stay like this for eh…….” I want to die with a sigh of relief, thinking “thank fuck for that”
Also if a rock climber dies when out on a climb, and people say “at least he died doing what he loved” technically that’s not true, technically he didn’t died climbing the cliff, he died falling down it. So unless ‘the thing he loved’ was developing fatal head trauma as a result of falling off shit, he wouldn’t have died doing the thing he loved!
If you were able to choose what you were doing when you die, surely you would want to die doing something you fucking hate, who hasn’t wished for death at some time or another, be it being stuck in traffic or being severely hung over.
I hope that when I die, people will say “at least he died doing something he fucking hate”
I don’t want my last words to be “Isn’t this great, I wish I could stay like this for eh…….” I want to die with a sigh of relief, thinking “thank fuck for that”
Also if a rock climber dies when out on a climb, and people say “at least he died doing what he loved” technically that’s not true, technically he didn’t died climbing the cliff, he died falling down it. So unless ‘the thing he loved’ was developing fatal head trauma as a result of falling off shit, he wouldn’t have died doing the thing he loved!
